The Christmas Detective

It’s been a long time since my husband and I have made it to family Christmas on my side. In fact, I don’t think we have made it since we’ve been married, so it’s been more than 3 years. I always love getting together with my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins along with my immediate family.

The family meets on Christmas day every year, and this year we made it! We all met at the grandparents’ house. The story of Jesus’ birth was read by the youngest cousin, Tessa. She’s nine.

Before we read the story, though, we all had lunch together. My husband and I sat at the table with my sisters and the girl cousins (my husband is such a good sport!). As I sat down beside Tessa she looked over at me and said, “I don’t know you.”

I just laughed because I have known her since she was born, but I suppose being gone for three years will wipe you from the memory of a child. I said, “Hmm, that’s okay because I know you.” She looked at me with a shocked and confused expression. Then she pointed at my husband who is almost 9 years older than me and said, “I don’t know him either. Is he your dad?”

I laughed even harder. “Nope, that’s my husband.”

Now the look she had was utter shock as she said, “You’re not OLD enough to be married!!!”

“Oh yeah? How old do you think I am?”

“12?”

I have really good genes. I don’t say this so much to brag as I do to let you know that I don’t think I have aged since I was 12, so it’s a pretty common misconception. When my husband and I were dating there were times that we would be charged for an adult and child buffet if we would go out to eat. It’s not that my husband looks old, either. I just look really young.

As I continued laughing I asked her how old she thought my husband was…”42?”

He’s 33. We then spent the next 30 minutes trying to prove that we were, indeed, married. I didn’t have my wedding ring on because my fingers are fatter than they used to be. We kissed under the mistletoe. She still wasn’t convinced.

I thought, “I’ll just have mom tell her how old I am, and surely she will believe Aunt Sue, who is always at family Christmas.”

My own mother betrayed me! She said, “I think she’s somewhere around 12 or 13 years old.”

Tessa wouldn’t believe photo evidence or anything. It took grandma pointing out my husband for her to really accept the truth. She was quite the little detective. I was impressed.

Finally, lunch was over and Tessa was mostly (but not fully) convinced that I was 24, my husband was not 42, and we had been married for over 3 years.

I suppose we will just have to make a more regular appearances at family gatherings.

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Yesterday I played a game with my mom and sisters while my husband had a guys’ night with a college friend. The game is called bean boozled, and it was hilarious. If you’ve never played, google it. If you have, I feel for you, especially if you didn’t get peach. I do not recommend playing twice in one night if you have a weak stomach.

 

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