Oceans

I listened to Oceans for the first time in a while a couple days ago. Every time I hear it I think back to when it first came out towards the end of 2013. I loved it immediately. The bridge goes like this:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

The first time I sang along, I had no idea the journey I would soon be taking. It was around that time we found out I was pregnant.

Jamin and I were high school youth leaders at our church, and, because it was so popular, that song was sung almost every week. As my pregnancy progressed and we received the news that our son would likely not survive after birth, we sang that song. At 20 weeks, I was supposed to miscarry, but I didn’t, and we sang that song. Week after week, our baby kept living in my belly and almost week after week, we sang that song.

It became the anthem of my pregnancy. I remember singing that song with a hand on my belly, feeling Leeland kick. If our trust in the Lord had borders to start, they had been blasted through, as we found ourselves in a place we never thought we would go. We couldn’t have been in a place of more uncertainty.

I remember singing, “Let me walk upon the water.”

Jesus, don’t let me sink. Help me keep my eyes on you because these waves around me feel like they could swallow me up any minute. Show me, once again, that you’ll never leave me.

Gosh, He was so faithful during that season, like He has always been.

I still love hearing this song, and remembering that time.

 

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