I can’t lie. When they told me I was only 8 weeks along last week, I was disappointed because pregnancy has been rough, and that meant I had at least another month of the really hard stuff. And I know that some people would say, “you should just be grateful you can even get pregnant” or “a lot of people would love to feel sick knowing they were having a baby.” But can I just say this? If I were a billionaire with constant explosive diarrhea, I should be allowed to complain about my diarrhea every now and then, and it wouldn’t take away from the fact that it’s still nice being a billionaire. I feel like it’s the same with pregnancy. I should be able to complain a little bit about feeling nauseous almost all day and being crazy tired without it taking away from the fact that, yes, it is cool that I’m growing a human. The miracle of pregnancy is not lost on me.
I wasn’t sick during the first trimester at all with Leeland, but I was sick every day after the first trimester. That sickness was different, though. I could manage it as long as I ate something every 5 minutes. This time around I haven’t really been able to find anything that helps consistently. I’m sure the only reason I haven’t puked is because I am willing myself not to. My brain is stronger than my stomach! And I have food aversion this time around. Never had that with Leeland, either. Most of my favorite foods are totally off limits and others are touch and go depending on the day. Chocolate is pretty repulsive to me right now, and pizza has only been successful once. I’ve had vegetables twice in the last 3 weeks! How sad is that?!
I’ve been dreaming WAY more frequently than usual. I’ve had one dream that the baby was a boy and two that it was a girl and also a dream that I was a black woman. In one dream, I named her Amy. My sister says she is “team Amy Jr 2019,” and I think that infiltrated my dream.
Being pregnant with Leeland taught us how to live day to day out of necessity. We just didn’t know which one would be our last, so it was hard to look beyond the day we were living. It’s another reason I am thankful for him and his life. Because I have found myself doing that, but not because I have to. I am expecting that we will make it full term with a healthy baby, but I want to live day to day, too. I don’t want to take it for granted and rush through these weeks just because I feel like junk. There is something freeing about just living in today. I’ve found myself imagining what life will be like a year from now, and that’s okay, too, but I really like being able to be right where I am without letting fear or impatience take me to a day that hasn’t even come.
I have a dog. She’s a Golden Doodle named Scout, and I love her to pieces. But my favorite breed of dog is the Great Dane. Let me just tell you how much I love Great Danes.
I don’t know when it started, but somewhere in the course of my life, I decided Great Danes were the cutest little *giant* sweeties I had ever seen, except that I had never actually seen one in real life. Continue reading “Puppy Pile”
It’s official! I have been blogging for one whole year!
I’m really proud of myself. I didn’t blog every day, but I met my goal – to post 100 blogs within the first year.
In honor of this anniversary, I have a request to anyone that sees this post (even if you don’t see it until next year!). Would you share with me in the comment section which blog post has inspired you or encouraged you the most? Or tell me which is your favorite! And then, Continue reading “One Year Blogiversary!”
I used to love sick days as a kid. The being sick part was no fun, but being home sick meant getting to skip school and cozy up in the recliner with a bell on the side table. I would ring the bell, and my mom would take care of anything I needed. I would watch Anne of Green Gables or whatever soap operas were on and take lots of naps. Life was so simple back then. Continue reading “Sick Days”
I’ve been thinking about how Jesus prayed lately, and I think I’ve been doing it wrong for a while now.
There are a lot of times the Bible talks about Jesus going off to be alone while He prayed (Mark 1:35, Matthew 14:23, Luke 5:16, Luke 6:12). It seems to simple, but technology has sort of complicated things. Continue reading “The Lonely Place”
I don’t enjoy cooking. I really wish I did since it’s sort of necessary for survival, but I don’t. Some relationships have two people that love cooking – great for them. Some relationships have one person who hates cooking and one that enjoys it – good for them. And then there are relationships, like mine, where both people don’t like cooking and only do it because they have to – not so great for us.
I do most of the cooking in the house just because I am used to it. I know the recipes and can make things efficiently, so it just makes sense, but I’ve been getting overwhelmed. I don’t want to do all the cooking. Because it’s Continue reading “A Husband Who Cooks”
Our small group has been listening to podcasts by Andy Stanley for a few weeks, and last night’s was really good. The series is called Staying In Love, and Andy addresses why people seem to fall out of love after years of being in love and what couples can do to fight back against the decay of love in marriages.
We watched part 3 last night. It was about feelings and how important it is to be able to recognize what we feel because a lot of conflict arises as a result of what is going on inside of our own hearts rather than what our spouses are doing, and it’s easier to simply blame someone else for making us feel a certain way than it is to take responsibility for ourselves. Andy gave an illustration in which Mr & Mrs Mug had a conflict. When there was conflict or a “bump” blue beads fell out of Mr. Mug, and pink beads fell out of Mrs. Mug. They blamed each other saying, “If you didn’t do this or say that these beads wouldn’t have spilled out of me,” but the truth was the blue beads fell out of Mr. Mug because that’s what was inside of him. In the same way, if we have anger inside, anger will spill out when there is conflict.
One discussion question that really stuck out to me was this: Continue reading “Good Soil”
The numbers have never been the reason I keep writing, but it is really interesting to look at my stats and see how many people my blog has reached since it started in late November. I love that I can see what countries the people who have seen my blog are from. It makes me love this part of technology.
My goal when I first started was to use my blog as a journal, and I would make it public as a form of accountability, even if no one ever read it. Just knowing that people could read it was accountability enough. But then people did read it. A lot of people. Today hit Continue reading “3,000?!”