Dear Childless Mama

Dear Childless Mama,

You know who you are. Whether you are like me and your child was taken from your arms by that nasty thing called death or miscarriage robbed you of that baby in your arms, or that adoption you so eagerly awaited fell through, or infertility has, it seems, built walls around you, so you can’t conceive, or you are still single and wondering if you’ll ever get to build a family with someone – you know who you are, and when I say, “Dear Childless Mama,” you know I’m talking to you. Even if you’ll only call yourself a mom in the depths of your being because the world might not recognize it in you. You know. So hear my words: Continue reading “Dear Childless Mama”

For He Know the Plans

Jamin and I have been reading one chapter in the Bible, discussing it, and praying over a list of what started out as eleven items and has turned into something a bit larger every day for almost 3 months. It has been so good for us. For a long time, we weren’t good at consistently praying and reading together, and I think it is so important in keeping God the center of a marriage.

We’ve been in Jeremiah for about a month now, and recently came across a verse that anyone who grew up in the church has probably heard. It’s the go-to verse to write on high school graduation cards. Continue reading “For He Know the Plans”

Good News From the Doctor

My doctor called on Friday to talk about the results of my HSG test. He, along with the PA who gave us the immediate results, was very surprised that my right fallopian tube was open. When they finished the surgery back in February, they couldn’t see the opening of it at all, so they were convinced it would be blocked, but it wasn’t!

He asked what we wanted to do, and I told him that our biggest goal in all of this was for me to be healthy, and I feel like we are finally there – or as close to there as we will be for now. My body is having cycles without any hormonal assistance, and now we know that both tubes are open. There is healthy tissue on the left side of my uterus, and there is somewhat of of healthy tissue on the right side that leads straight to the open tube. Continue reading “Good News From the Doctor”

He is Still Good Three Years Later

Gosh, it is so hard to wrap my head around this day, and I’m sure it will be just as hard in 15 years and in 40 years.

Today, Leeland would have been 3 years old. I still remember a lot from that day. I remember 3 years ago, close to this time, we were returning home from the University of Iowa Hospital with one less person than we had left with. Continue reading “He is Still Good Three Years Later”

Pray Without Ceasing

A few nights ago my husband and I changed our routine a bit.

We normally pray together a few times a week, not counting quick prayers in the morning or at night, and our Bible reading is usually done independently.

We are reading through the book of Isaiah together and praying together every day. We made a list of 11 things that we are going to pray for every day. We want to make this a regular thing each day. Continue reading “Pray Without Ceasing”

He Is Still Risen

Millions of people celebrated the coming of a candy bearing rabbit yesterday. I hope that many more millions were celebrating something much bigger – the resurrection of Jesus from the grave.

In the days leading up to Sunday, lots of people talked about Jesus. They talked about why Jesus would do what He did and what it means for us. They talked about how He was welcomed upon entering Jerusalem and how the same people that welcomed Him were in the crowd yelling, “crucify him,” only days later. On Friday, people talked about the punishment Jesus would receive on our behalf and what was supposed to be His final breath. Continue reading “He Is Still Risen”

Celebrating This Weird Thing

Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe this has really been my life – that I’ve actually gone through all of these experiences. Twenty-six years isn’t much, but those years have been filled with a lot of life.

Here I am, coming to the end of the first period I’ve had in 3 years. It’s so strange.

At the beginning of the week, I told many of my friends about it, and they all responded with excitement. They know what our story has been. They know the grief and the heartache we’ve endured, so they know what this means for us. This means opportunity for us that we thought was gone, so they were all excited. Continue reading “Celebrating This Weird Thing”