I’m Forgetting

I have been in a bit of a funk for the last couple weeks, and I just couldn’t figure out why, but tonight I realized it’s because I’m beginning to forget.

It’s too soon. June 6th marks two years since we held our son for the first and last time. That doesn’t seem possible. I can’t believe we’ve been without him for so long..

I remember a lot from my pregnancy, most of it, actually, but I am forgetting things from that day.

I’m forgetting what his skin felt like and how it felt to press my thumb into his tiny hand.

I’m forgetting, and I hate it. I want to remember every tiny detail, and I don’t just want to remember them with my mind.

I want to remember them with my eyes and ears and skin. I want to remember them like it didn’t end, but I can’t.

Today I am forgetting some things, but knowing that I will never forget him.

Today I am really missing our boy.