My Heart Tonight

My heart has been restless lately.

I’ve been trying to do too much with too little time and I haven’t been taking time to just be still with the Lord. Even my time with Him has had some sort of agenda. So tonight is just going to be me spilling my heart out on these (virtual) pages so that I can look back here in a month and see how God used this time. Because He always finds a way.

I still have so many mixed emotions about what the doctor told us 2 weeks ago. I don’t feel excited about getting pregnant again…at least not right now. And I don’t know if I will be excited if/when it comes. Pregnancy for me the first time was bittersweet. I am not scared that we will lose another child, I just know that if there is a next time it’s going to be really hard, and that doesn’t excite me. Continue reading “My Heart Tonight”

Good Soil

Our small group has been listening to podcasts by Andy Stanley for a few weeks, and last night’s was really good. The series is called Staying In Love, and Andy addresses why people seem to fall out of love after years of being in love and what couples can do to fight back against the decay of love in marriages.

We watched part 3 last night. It was about feelings and how important it is to be able to recognize what we feel because a lot of conflict arises as a result of what is going on inside of our own hearts rather than what our spouses are doing, and it’s easier to simply blame someone else for making us feel a certain way than it is to take responsibility for ourselves. Andy gave an illustration in which Mr & Mrs Mug had a conflict. When there was conflict or a “bump” blue beads fell out of Mr. Mug, and pink beads fell out of Mrs. Mug. They blamed each other saying, “If you didn’t do this or say that these beads wouldn’t have spilled out of me,” but the truth was the blue beads fell out of Mr. Mug because that’s what was inside of him. In the same way, if we have anger inside, anger will spill out when there is conflict.

One discussion question that really stuck out to me was this: Continue reading “Good Soil”