The last couple weeks have flown by! The first few weeks after finding out I was pregnant went by very slowly because I felt horrible, but week 14 brought quite a bit of relief from the nausea I was experiencing, and I’m getting some energy back. I’ve had a few bad days here and there, but feel mostly good now!
My next appointment is in a little over a week, then it will only be a month until we go to Iowa City for the 20 week ultrasound, and we will find out the baby’s gender. Some people enjoy the surprise of waiting until the birth, but I am not some people.
I’m excited to know what we are having, so Jamin (yes, Jamin has taken this job on himself) can start working on a nursery. My husband likes to say that he is a pacer and I’m a sprinter. That means I like getting things done fast, so I can cross them off my list even if that means spending 12 hours on a single Saturday to get it done. Jamin likes to take his time – an hour here and there – until the job is done. It could takes weeks or months, so I am excited for him to get started, just in case it takes months.
We will also start working on our registry once we know what we are having.
It’s strange to be thinking about those things because we didn’t get to do either when I was pregnant with Leeland.
In the last week we also discovered that we have a Houdini baby on our hands. I don’t really look pregnant, yet – mostly like I ate too much for lunch – but when I lay down with a full bladder, you can definitely tell there is a baby in there. As soon as my bladder is empty, though, the bump disappears!
The baby will double in size in the next month, so I’m sure I’ll be showing all the time very soon. For now, I’m laying on my stomach every chance I get and enjoying being able to breathe while I lay on my back.
As we were sitting in the waiting room, I looked at my hospital wristband where it said, “26yr.” I told my husband I could remember being 16, and at that time 26 seemed so far away. It arrived quite quickly, though. He said, “I bet this isn’t what you thought 26 would be like.” He was right.
My life has not at all been what I expected. I don’t really know what I expected it to be like, but I know this isn’t it, and I’m sure I’ll still be saying the same thing 10 years from now.
It was about a year ago that my doctors started doing tests to figure out what was going on with my body. First they thought it might have been a tumor. When that couldn’t be confirmed, they referred me to the University of Iowa Hospital. They did more tests and figured out that I did, indeed, have Asherman’s Syndrome as a result of a D & C. Continue reading “Hopefully the Last Test”
Gosh, it is so hard to wrap my head around this day, and I’m sure it will be just as hard in 15 years and in 40 years.
Today, Leeland would have been 3 years old. I still remember a lot from that day. I remember 3 years ago, close to this time, we were returning home from the University of Iowa Hospital with one less person than we had left with. Continue reading “He is Still Good Three Years Later”
I had a memory pop up on Facebook the other day from 3 years ago. It was this post from when I was pregnant: Continue reading “Missing Them”
Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe this has really been my life – that I’ve actually gone through all of these experiences. Twenty-six years isn’t much, but those years have been filled with a lot of life.
Here I am, coming to the end of the first period I’ve had in 3 years. It’s so strange.
At the beginning of the week, I told many of my friends about it, and they all responded with excitement. They know what our story has been. They know the grief and the heartache we’ve endured, so they know what this means for us. This means opportunity for us that we thought was gone, so they were all excited. Continue reading “Celebrating This Weird Thing”
I can’t believe it’s already been a month and a half since I had my surgery! I also can’t believe I haven’t written in over a month. I really need to get back into the swing of things.
Anyway, today is mostly a physical update, which might be too much information for some people, but if you are a woman, know a woman, or ever will know a woman, I think it’s good to know what goes on. I’m going to write an update on how I’ve been doing emotionally this weekend. Continue reading “I Think It Worked”
Yep, that’s a picture of the kind of balloon that has been in my uterus the last 10 days.
My birthday was yesterday. I’m 26. Sometimes I think, “wow, has it been 26 years already?” And other times I think, “Only 26 years, huh?”
So much has happened. Sometimes I can hardly believe the story that has been written for me this far. So much loss, but so much more life. So much joy and sorrow. So many surprises and so many opportunities for growth, even if that meant experiencing growing pains physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And I think that will be big in the coming year as I make my way to 27. I can already see it in just a few of the things that have happened recently. This year will cause me to grow in ways that I never thought I would, and I know it will be good because my God is good, and He knows what He is doing. Continue reading “Birthday Balloon”
Hyteroscopic lysis of adhesions (you can see the adhesions in the picture). That’s what my doctor did yesterday.
We arrived at the hospital around 10:30 and I believe I went in to surgery around 11:30. Everything went well in regards to removing the scar tissue. I didn’t bleed excessively (which was a concern of the doctors considering my diagnosis of Von Willebrand’s Disease). The doctor did find that there was significantly more scar tissue than the original ultrasound showed. During that ultrasound they tried to inject fluid into my uterus so they could see how widespread the scarring was, but since the opening was scarred shut, they couldn’t get any fluid in, making it difficult to know for sure how much scarring was present. The entire right side of my uterus was covered in scar tissue. Continue reading “Recovery”
The internet can give us the illusion that everyone else has their lives together, and we are the only ones that struggle with anything. It’s easy to put our best foot forward and hide our other foot, but in an attempt to remove any illusion I may have created, I present exhibits A & B:
“What is that,” you may ask.
Well, that is bird poop on that vent and on my windshield. I blogged about the day a bird did that MONTHS ago.
And I still haven’t cleaned it!
So if you think you are the only one who lets things go for way too long before cleaning them, know that I’m right there with you.
It seems like the grandest gesture one can make – to die for another. Jesus even says that there is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend (John 15:13).
It’s the most romantic thing a person could possibly say, “I love you so much, I would die for you.”
Most men have this innate drive to protect what is theirs. Husbands would easily give their lives for their wives if it was a matter of protecting them. Our small group has been going through a video series for the last couple months, and that has been mentioned several times.
“A man would die for his wife.”
While it does seem like a grand gesture, I don’t just want my husband to be willing to sacrifice his body to protect me. Honestly, I might be a little upset because he would be leaving me to live without him, so I struggled with this idea. Continue reading “My Love, Will You Die For Me Today?”