Invisible Motherhood

When I woke up this morning, my husband brought a hungry baby into our bed and said, “Happy Mother’s Day.” In the kitchen I found a handmade card from my sweet sister, then Jamin helped Finley make me a gift with his little hand print on it.

My husband is amazing and has honored me on this day for 6 years – since my first Mother’s Day when I was pregnant with Leeland. But this year is different.

Because THIS year I get to hold my baby on Mother’s Day. He’s getting bigger. He spills over my lap and loves to pull my hair out one piece at a time and pick my nose. He will be ONE in 10 days, but he’s mine and he’s in my arms. After all this time, I’m still in awe that this is my real life. That I really get him, and he’s REALLY here. I catch myself just staring at him all the time.

My day has been spent snuggling, kissing, and playing with him and being served by my wonderful husband (he’s making ALL the meals today)!! This afternoon, I’ll look through Leeland’s photo book and remember my boy who made me a mama.

I’m so thankful for the friends and families that have remembered me – and in doing so, remembered Leeland – on this day for the last 6 years. My Mother’s Days will never be the same.

Before Finley came, to most of the world, I was an invisible mom. I know there are many moms who know what that’s like.

Restaurants would offer a free or discounted meal for Mother’s Day…if you had your child with you.

There was no baby on my hip or toddler in my cart as I got groceries. No preschooler who dressed himself in shorts in the middle of winter. No birthday parties or homemade Christmas ornaments.

I know there are many moms waiting to finally be seen – many who are still waiting for that baby in their arms.

Even now, a part of my motherhood will always be invisible to most of the people in the world. They will see one son, not knowing that I have two until I tell them.

So, to the ones who see my motherhood for all that it is, thank you. To the ones who remember both of my boys, thank you.

To the moms who feel that their motherhood is completely or partially invisible, you’re not alone. Today I remember and honor you and your babies. The ones you never got to name, the ones you only held for a short time, and all the others who you are missing today.

Happy Mother’s Day.